Draft of "the box"

You think I am here for you pleasure

That I have nothing better

Keeping me like a treasure

Always in your shadow

What can I say that can make you think different

The more I struggle the more your conflict

There is nothing worse than being stepped over

Pushed over and shoved down

Into the hole of control and demand

Always given by your hand

There is more to me than you can stand

You think you have the upper hand

So I sit and wait for the time

For release from the box and your demand

The box is cracking

The box is flimsy

It can't stand the pressure of who I am becoming

The box is failing

The box is more

Empty than you know

Time is only a gift

That grows from the shift

Of power you think you have

Time is all I need to prove

Your shadow is quite meek

And it is fading beyond the heart you think you keep

Safe in the box

That is flimsy and cracked

What more can I do

To show you....

It no longer is

The containment of your control

You no longer have your hold

I am free to light my path

And content to show you that I am free

Free from the box

That can't hold anything but your cost

The cost of control is to prove

You never really had it

And you have lost

What a precious treasure

No longer here for your pleasure

Peace.

calmer than the sky
far away so blue
land of living God
grant your peace on earth
we can feel you move and cannot stay the same
the winds are blowing strong
God of heaven come

breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep

breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God

if we are in the way
move us to the side
God forgive our wrongs
rest your hands on us
all the world is yours
let us not forget
it was you who bore the cross
God of comfort breathe

breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
so we might breathe you deep

breathe peace
breathe your peace on us
land of the living God



If there is anything that I think I need right now it would be peace. I am so reved up and so tired that I don't know what to do with myself. It is a wonderful feeling and scary. I love that God has me here. And I love the feeling of Him right there. His warm hand on my back. And I don't want to leave it. I truly feel comfort. And I would like to say there is no anxiousness but there is. I am.
For whatever reason. And I can't quite pinpoint why or where. I just want to continue receiving OVERWHELMING peace.

Note to self

"Stop fearing-There are good God things to come.
There are No surprises to Him.
His plan NOT mine......
There is no reason to Fear
He is with me
No matter where I go
How long the road is or How high the mountain
How far I fall or How long I run
I merely have to turn and HE ...
The redeeming, rescuing One
Is there to catch me"

~Laura

I love it when she smiles......

Note to Self

"Slow obey is No Obey"

~Jan Varner, School Teacher.

BrianWelch

I listen to rock music. A LOT.
I don't listen to 89.3 b/c they play the same song over and over.
And I like other music.
I like rock.
Metal.
and so on.

This morning on the way into work I was listening to The Buzz.
And I know it tends to have ify stories but sometimes they are funny. And say dumb things.
This morning they had Brian Welch on.

Do you know who Brian Welch is?
He was a member of the band Korn.
He was a massive Alcoholic and Drug Addict.
He found the end of himself.
Got clean.
And was REDEEMED.
You know what I am saying.
God Saved Him!
He wrote a book.
"Save me from myself"
And when I am done reading my other book. I am moving on to that one.
He was on. Talking about. How Jesus saved him.
How with God he does not desire drugs.
How b/c of his NEW LIFE. He is free.
I was shocked that the dj's were just in awe of his words. And even more shock they were giving him such freedom to say exactly what was up in his life. They even let a listener talk to him that was changed by his story. And the guy said. "Since I gave my life to Jesus. Everything has changed. My life. My desires. I am free" and b/c I saw you do it. I thought. If Brian can I can.

WOW!
He was like .. Dude. Keep up the good work. And was just honest and so really.

He is speaking at Salem Lutheran Church this weekend.
What a story.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23fuPly9mvM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29HFEfvVYJQ&feature=channel

Yes. Yes and Amen.

Billy Graham's Prayer For Our Nation

'Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask your forgivenessand to seek your direction and guidance. We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we have done. Wehave lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery. We have rewarded lazinessand called it welfare. We have killed our unborn and called it choice.We have shot abortionists and called it justifiable. We have neglectedto discipline our children and called it building self esteem. We have abused power and called it politics. We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition. We have pollute d the air with profanity and pornography and called it freedom of expression. We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment. Search us, Oh God, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and Set us free. Amen!'

Rules for Right living....

I know . I sound like a Holy Roller.. I'm not. I just have a lot on my mind.. and it needs out.
This morning... Colossians 3:1-17 (I could trim some out to make it shorter.. but it is not that bad) Since you have died and are risen in Him. You are able, capable, and even equipt to live a life worthy of imitation. You are able to put to death, Stop doing, turn away from the evil of this world...growing as a new creation that YOU ARE!! You are chosen, holy and dearly loved. You can and must be compassionate, kind, humble, and gentle. You can be patient and able to turn from your old ways. Because the One in you is GREATER than the one of the world. You were called to peace. You are covered in grace. You are given mercy. Welcome, Sons and Daughters of the Most High!

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Favorite Photo~Take 6

Look how good we are.

Oct/2007

This is at our favorite hiking spot. In the middle of a meadow. Where you forget you are anywhere near civilization. And we explore everything that is growing and dreaming of spring when there will be wild strawberries and dewberries on the path.

THE soap

I have very few memories of 'THE soap' as a child.
My brother, on the other hand, has a great knowledge of what all kinds of different soaps tastes like. I have not done the soap with my kids very often.
A few times here and there.
But it has been a long time.
AND NOW!
Well.. not so much.

JonRyan. The middle one. The quiet one. The obedient one. The I am eleven one. The I am getting to big for my britches one. The one that said the creme de'la creme of ALL words..
the f - - - word.. yes. memories of "The Christmas Story" is coming to mind. And what makes it worse is that Jacob heard him and began CHANTING the FREAKIN' Word! UGH!
So while JonRyan is getting to know "Irish Spring" better. I am having to explain to the 6 year old why that is a bad word! GEEZ. The things I have to do!

With that... what is the worst word you got caught saying?
You can abbreviate..

The worst thing I got caught.. well..I was not so caught.. I was in the back seat of my parents car.. I think I was 7 or 8.. and I told my brother to Kiss MY A$$! My parents FAVORITE phrase that they SCREAMED at each other at the top of their lungs. And when my parents questioned me about "Where in the world did I hear such language???" I could not tell them. I was too afraid. There is my confession for the day!

Sisters

I love this Sista!

There are few people that can make me laugh as much as my sister. And she does not even have to say much. We can finish each others cocky statements. We can finish each others jokes. And they always end up in .. well... you can see.. laughs. My dad was playing with the b&w on his camera.. and wanted a 'serious' side profile of us. We NEVER got that far!

I hope when I am old.. and she is senile we can still have this much fun!

Favorite Photo~Take 5

Can you see me now, Mom?!?

May 2006

My three adventurous kids love to be outdoors.. I was up by the water cooler and turned to see them looking for me. I love this photo.. even thou they are kinda blurry.

Photo Project Idea from laceylichi!

Favorite Photo~Take 4

It's Perfect with 3.

Jan/2002

My sister took this great photo. Just over a month after I had the third offspring. It was a fantastic time in my life. A kindergartner, pre-schooler and an infant. When I realized..I was short a hand. That I had to teach them to REALLY share... not toys but me. And my arms really could stretch around ALL of them ALL at once! Ah.. could we go back to such a simple life?

Favorite photo idea from laceylichi

Favorite Photo~Take3

At Peace with each other and the world.

April 2007

At my favorite spot at Brazos Bend State Park. No gators in this one. Just 3 great kids lookin' at the water. I love this shot.

Favorite Photo~Take 1

Girls Rules Boys Drool!

Favorite photo blog idea from laceylichi

This photo is one of my all time favorites. We were at the Ft Bend County Fair and the kids wanted to play a game. And the boys wanted to play the 'hit the pins with the baseball' game. And commented that they were SURE TO WIN. But NOT Morgan because She is a GIRL!

Guess what.. As you can see.. the girl WON and the boys LOST.

Do what You will.

Have you ever been persecuted for doing what you thought was right? For doing what you thought God wanted? Have you ever been accused of something and no one cared if you were innocent or wanted your 'side' and God kept telling you. "It does not matter. I matter."
Some maybe turned off my the lengthiness of the below verse. Talking about a man who delivered a girl from evil and then was put in prison for it. And then FOR GOD'S Glory... HIS GOOD PLEASURE. He broke their chains and were free to go. And God vindicated their good name. SO that HE and HE alone received the Glory and honor!



Acts 16:12-40
Once when we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a slave girl who had a spirit by which she predicted the future. She earned a great deal of money for her owners by fortune-telling. This girl followed Paul and the rest of us, shouting, "These men are servants of the Most High God, who are telling you the way to be saved." She kept this up for many days. Finally Paul became so troubled that he turned around and said to the spirit, "In the name of Jesus Christ I command you to come out of her!" At that moment the spirit left her.
When the owners of the slave girl realized that their hope of making money was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace to face the authorities. They brought them before the magistrates and said, "These men are Jews, and are throwing our city into an uproar by advocating customs unlawful for us Romans to accept or practice."
The crowd joined in the attack against Paul and Silas, and the magistrates ordered them to be stripped and beaten. After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.
About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"
The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"
They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.
When it was daylight, the magistrates sent their officers to the jailer with the order: "Release those men." The jailer told Paul, "The magistrates have ordered that you and Silas be released. Now you can leave. Go in peace."
But Paul said to the officers: "They beat us publicly without a trial, even though we are Roman citizens, and threw us into prison. And now do they want to get rid of us quietly? No! Let them come themselves and escort us out."
The officers reported this to the magistrates, and when they heard that Paul and Silas were Roman citizens, they were alarmed. They came to appease them and escorted them from the prison, requesting them to leave the city. After Paul and Silas came out of the prison, they went to Lydia's house, where they met with the brothers and encouraged them. Then they left.

Can you hear Me? Are you listening to Me?

*
*

"Today, If you hear His voice, do not harden your heart."
(Psalms 95:7-8 & Hebrews 4:7)

Today I was reading and this passage. This single line spoke volumes to me. It made me think 2 totally different directions.

One...When God 'speaks' to me do I obey? Or do I find reasons why I should not obey or question whether that was 'really' God. Which is not all the time just sometimes when I am stubborn. I am not normally a stubborn person, at least I don't think I am. BUT at times I AM.
I admit that some times I complain that I am too tired, don't understand or flat out don't want to. Sometimes I want Him to send His instructions in an email or write them on the sky. Sometimes I wait to long to obey. A good old friend of mine says..."Slow Obey is NO obey"


Second...How many times have I obeyed and the person, if that was the instruction, hardens his/ her hearts and I walk away feeling beaten up and whipped. And wondering why in the world did He ask me to do that and He knew they would be stubborn why put me thru such formalities?


But I think the heart of the matter, if you don't me saying, is not if someone else hardens his/her heart. It is DID I DO AS I WAS ASKED. Did I learn? Did I harden my heart? Did I obey? And did I do it when asked?
Which makes me feel like a child and that is ok. Because He is my Father and He is teaching me, and training me and preparing me. And some kids don't get it right away. They are hard 'headed' and difficult. And I always learned my childhood lessons quickly.
Can I do so now?
Time will tell.

OH Glorious coffee

Coffee, Coffee OH thankful wonder that you are.
I drink you in the morning and evening and especially in my car!
You are smooth like silk when filled with cream.
It is sure to be a coffee lovers dream.
Frozen.
Hot.
Frapped.
Large or small.
Any way is a great call.
For one of the craziest I must confess.
'Let me have a Tall Hazelnut Mocha, you can keep the rest.'
Or For this mouth can not do with out the luscious peppermint mocha
Hurry bring it OUT!!
Some may say it is a sickness or addiction for which there is no cure.
But I will always hold dear, love and be pure.
To the rawness that is so sweet.
Every day I find it such a treat.
Caramel.
Chocolate.
To just name a few.
At times it causes me to be quite a motley crue. (ha)
Because my hours and days may be shorter and shorter
But this ode to my fav is finally over!

What they look for in a wife?....Scary

There are many things yesterday that made me laugh at my Kindergartner's Circus Field Trip. Even though I was NOT looking forward to sitting in bleachers for 4 hours..my lower back is killing me today. And I always get assign the 'crazy' kids. But all in all it was ok. A little hot. A little long. A lot exhausting. But the life of a mom is that way.
Hot~Long~ Crazy~EXHAUSTING.
I could tell you how the #1 rule was broken by one of the student. Which was you can't buy anything from the snack bar or gift stand or 'rides'. Well, Maybe I will. The 6year old who was accompanied by his grandmother (this is shocking) talked his Grandma into a coke... and a ride on the elephant. RIGHT in front of his WHOLE class. And all the little yellow shirted 'monkey's' noticed at the same time. "HEY!! _______is not allowed to do that? THAT IS NOT FAIR!!!"
The kids, ESPECIALLY my son, told the Grandmother that she broken an important rule.
I could tell you about the kid who was hanging upside down on the hand rail that led up to the top of the bleacher where we sat.. and I told him to get down before he fell. And he told me"YOU are NOT my mother!" And his mother WHO WAS IN EAR shot... told the boy. I don't care if she is your mother or not.. you do as she said and DON'T EVER talk to an adult that way again.
If it had been me and my son.. I would have been spanking him while I was saying that.. so it would have been broken up like.. DON'T~YOU~ EVER ~TALK~TO~AN~ADULT~THAT ~WAY~AGAIN~ HEHEHE.
I could tell you about the trick dogs with their Persian cat. The jugglers, singers, monkey, lions, tigers, motorcycle tricksters..
But none will compare to the shock that occurred when the 'hoola hoop girls' came out.
Three girls.... doing hoola hoop tricks.. And one particular girl... That hoola~ed 2-6 hoolas at a time. Who did little foot tricks and then as she spun 2 hoops.. My son says..."Momma! I am going to marry her!!!" I am thinking.. WOW. I should remind him of this later..
Hoola hoop girls are interesting.. And fun.. and can do tricks..
I am not sure if I like this phrasing..but it is what I thought. And he can't stop talking about the hoola girl with boots and all those hoops! I hope this does not mean he will like crazy reckless girls.

Fullness Of God

The difficulty in being an outspoken 'christian' in this world of hypocrites, money mongers, Tv Evang, and well all the rest can be difficult and trying.
The levels I find my self treading on makes me feel inconsistent and untrained. hmm.
Maybe not untrained.
Maybe lazy?
Ouch.
I just hurt myself. Lazy. Prideful.
Double ouch.
I am, at times, surrounded with opportunities to speak the truth or shut my mouth. And ALOT of times I shut my mouth. Even though I feel that maybe God is saying... "SPEAK". And I am praying . "God help me be still". HA. Isn't that just the way of a typical hypocrite? Doing the EXACT opposite of what GOD said! And yet I sit here today with 30 minutes before I HAVE to get ready to leave. (Yes I scream Blog addict) Anyway, going over in my head, in my spirit...
Are YOU, Laura Beadle, THAT lazy? Are you so shallow that you don't want to live in the fullness of what God has in story for your life.
And when I think that...
AND immediately say..
"Oh You must be talking about ________. SURELY I AM doing what I am suppose to do!!"
HAA
I am AND able to be called A daughter of the Most High, a joint heir, chosen, a new creation who is dearly loved and adored, with a plan and will that was written and formed before the creation of all things.
And instead I act like....a fox. a slug. a weasel. WHY? Because I am a human being that fights change every step of the way?!? YUP. Because pride makes me want to "have it MY way".
OH YEAH. And so I have to think crazy,weird, wacko, abnormally.... LOVE.. give... pray...hope..and have faith. Because I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ. And it takes time. I am being chiseled and refined and molded into a perfect stone. That means I am a work in progress.
How long will it take us to accept that? How long will we sit and let others around us do all the 'dirty' work? When will we step up and be who we are, REALLY?

You are a son or daughter of the MOST HIGH!

Maybe we should start acting like it. (not a slap an encouragement for me.. and anyone who wants it)