Is it just me

OR was this week EXHAUSTING!!!

I am so glad that I get to sleep in tomorrow. Don't call, don't write... I will turn off the phone.. I will put the ear plugs in.. and I will pretend I am not a parent until .......noon.
It will be wonderful glorious.. come on pillow.. oh wonderful fan.. mmmmcozy blanket. ....
Let's get the sleep on!

too real for you?? hmmm... too bad.




Yes- I will let you know how that works out for me.
If you are thinking negative thoughts... I have only one comment..
"GET BEHIND ME SATAN!!"
: p

I WAS HERE

I think about Tom Hanks in Cast Away writing on that rock before venturing to his assumed escape/death. Or sitting in the stall in Wal-mart looking up to see "Who was here and Who loves who". And even looking at a gravestone.
And that makes me think.

Do we/I have a life that says at the end... "I WAS HERE".
I am not talking about graffiti, even though I think I secretly would like to spray paint something, w/o consequences OF COURSE.
But am I living a life worthy of a Legacy for my kids.
A legacy to those around me.
Because as a christian I believe we are suppose to show others, teach others, and be there for others when needed.
So what does a life like this look like. I don't think it can not be done living in a box. I don't think it can be done just on Sunday. Or Wednesday.
I think it is everyday. With those around us... and stepping out of the box and taking action for the good God things & the good God Plans.

There are a few people at our church and other I know that live this out. That my kids look up to . .HECK that I look up to. And I think. Thank GOD they are there. Thank GOD I have a good example of living a life worthy of example worthy of not imitation.. b/c there is only ONE that I should be imitating.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Fear

I know fear is a tool the enemy uses against me. He knows my weaknesses. He knows what I am afraid. Sometimes he gets the best of me. He reads my face. Counts my tears and feeds off them.
Even though. Even though. I have a Savior. It gets the best of me.
Because I fear.
I have bad dreams.
I don't sleep well.
Even if I pray.
Even if I 'lay it down'
Deep deep down it still bothers me.
Maybe it is because I am the creature known as a woman.
Because I REALLY don't think it is lack of trust in God.
I know that I know He takes care of me. And I have nothing to fear.
And yet. I still have it.
It's like a Daddy coaxing his child as they learn to ride their bike.
Or a Mom showing a child how to roller skate.
The child KNOWS he will fall and yet afraid he goes out on the floor anyway.
Deep Breath.
I write in my Bible ALOT. I make notes, underline. Sometimes in color. Sometimes in pencil.
I usually get a new Bible when I can't read the word b/c of my markings.
And yet. I don't want a new one b/c my is nice and broke in. It opens right away to my favorite passages.
But there is a place in my Bible that only has a couple lines written. I will never write anything else on this page because it is my constant reminder.....
On the inside cover of my Bible I wrote....

"Stop Fearing-
There are good God things to come.
They are not surprises to God.
It is HIS plan NOT my plan"

there is no date. I don't remember who or what prompted this.
I do know. When I am afraid.. I read this. I had forgotten that last few days. And 'he' got the best of me. 'He' got me tired. 'He' got me in my sleep.
Like a thief. 'He' stole from me. And I pray I will not forget.

Fear not. The Lord is with me. No matter where I go. How long the road is or how high the mountain is. And Lord help me...How far I fall. How long I run.
I merely turn (repent) and HE, the GREAT I AM, Is there to catch me.
Hallelujah!

Addicted

You bought my life with the blood

That you shed on the cross

When you died for the sins of men

And you let out a cry, crucified

Now alive in me

*

These hands are yours

Teach them to serve

As you please and I'll reach out

Desperate to see all the greatness of God

May my soul rest assured in you

*

I'll never be the same

No I'll never be the same

*

Cause I know that you're alive

You came to fix my broken life

And I'll sing to glorify

Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

*

You've changed it all

You broke down the wall

When I spoke and confessed

In you I am blessed

Now I walk in the light

In victorious sight of you

*

Cause I know that you're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy name, Jesus Christ

Loser~Loser

A sore one I am not.
I was busy sleeping on my cot.
Even though I was beat to the punch.
I did not know there was such a crunch.
The pressure was off because of a dream.
I thought I had it down like a scheme.
But that was just a wish that I will not see.
While the winners jump up and down with glee.
So it was just a small prize but a prize none the less.
I like to win and so I guess.
I will just wait 100 more though it may be a chore.
I think some others will be keeping score.
Or perhaps a better usage of my time shall become the habit.
Or I need to practice so my fingers are more like a jackrabbit.
All I know is I sit here in pain. Over the loss or maybe over being so so very vain.
Even though losing does not make me so sad.
It is the win that makes me glad.
So to the winners I smile and nod.
Enjoy your spoils!
And I stand and cheer for it is fun to rant and rave and gloat and jeer.
But this time you win and that is ok.
Next time your luck may just go astray.


; )

Absolute.......

…Truth.

What would happen if you told the absolute truth?
ALL THE TIME???!?!?I was thinking about this today when I saw a number come on to my phone and I did not want to answer it. And I didn’t. You know what I am talking about. You see the number or the email or hear the voicemail or see them walking down the hall and your eyes rolls and you make that total disgust sigh. And if it is visual.. you pray that they did not see you and duck down the nearest hall/cube or turn the other direction.

What would happen if you told them the absolute truth?

“I really don’t have the time or the energy to talk to you right now.
I know you want to be my friend. But I can’t stand you.
I don’t want to hear about your trip anymore.
I gave you my advice now use it or don’t speak about the subject.
No, I don’t want to go out with you, your moral compass is broke.
That dress does make you look fat.- OUCH.
That hair style does make you look old- Double ouch.
NO-He REALLY is not going to call. Yes- You really were to easy.”
Oh I could go on. AND so could you.

BUT would we be less liked? More stressed?

Or can we handle absolute truth?

Can we take it from a friend?

Can I take it? That is more the question. Can I take absolute truth? Could I hear from a friend or trusted loved one the absolute truth?


And becareful to not mistake "Absolute Truth" with... "The truth IN LOVE" because I think there is a difference. Don't you?

Hey God...Am I Contagious?

Sitting in the Doctor's Office. I am looking at the kids. Some parents knowing their kid is contagious and keeping them from the other kids. And some for 'well' checks and still keeping them from other kids.. And I start thinking ..

Is Christianity contagious? Is my faith contagious? AM I contagious?

Do I/we infect others?

For good?

Or are we more like mosquito repellant?

It makes me curious.. do I act in such a way that when someone sees me that they see something is different about me.

Other than my new hair color.

Other than I am nice.

Am I contagious?

I use to say yes.

I recall days that I spent with my 'sister-in-law' even when I thought she was a total lost cause. And hoping that my parental skills and sound doctrine would rub off. And yet. She now acts worse than she did when I met her.

And then I think.. Or maybe it is God interjections.. "Who said you have to DO anything? Isn't it about me.. And MY spirit. It IS purely about YOUR obedience in situations."

Yes. True. Got it.

But am I contagious? Am I salty? Or bland and weak?

Sigh... Oh btw, he just has a virus. And no infection. Thank you, Jesus. I hate strep. And when 1 gets it.. they ALL get it..

God, Am I like Strep??? ooo.. splotchy and red. irritating and

"The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!"

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

Is that water too hot?

Putting your faith into actions is not just a new concept.
It is not a new fad to be had.
It is not a good way to meet new singles.
It is not a way to show off.
It is not a way to punish the kids.
Or a way to run from reality.


It is a way to DO what Jesus command us to do.
It is a way to walk out your faith.

If you are doing it right.
You are going to get dirty.
Your feet are gonna hurt.
You are going to be tired.

And at the end of the day.
When you sit in your favorite chair.
And you are looking at the ceiling.
Thinking. "God, I am tired.
Did I do what you wanted me to ?"
"Did I make you happy?"
"Did I sin against you? What could I have done different?"

Jesus is standing there with a towel around his waist.
A bowl at your feet.
Kneels down.
And washes your feet.
"I love you"
"I am proud of you"

"Just wait and see what I have in store for you tomorrow......... "

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit-fruit that will last." (gotta love those red letters)

"I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother(sister), have refreshed the hearts of the saints."

Get your feet dirty

I saw a phrase that made me smile.

"Jesus loves your dirty feet"

It made me think about John 13.

"Having loved his own who were in the world, He now showed them the full extent of his love."

and then he washed their feet.

It also made me think of James 1:27

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

So we are going to get our feet dirty taking care of the business of Christ. And we may get our feet dirty because we walk in a polluted world.

John 13 also says that we are already bathed and clean. We only need to wash our feet. I am going to ponder that for a bit. Do you think he is talking about daily spiritual renewal?

Deliver us

We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers,
about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia.
We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure,
so that we despaired even of life.
Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death.
But this happened that we might not
rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
He has delivered us from such a deadly peril,
and he will deliver us. On him we have set our
hope that he will continue to deliver us,
as you help us by your prayers.
Then many will give thanks on our behalf
for the gracious favor granted us in
answer to the prayers of many.

MY Very Present Help

Ok. When I can 'write' out what is up with out weeping.. I will.. BUT until then you will just have to read the grownings of this woman's heart.

I will trust the Lord forever.

I will trust Him at all times.

He has delivered me from all fear.

He has set my feet upon a rock.

You, Lord, have made me glad.

And I'll say of the Lord.

You are my shield.

You are my strength.

You are my portion.

You are my deliverer.

You are my shelter.

You are my strong tower.

You are my very present help in time of need.

I WILL

Even though at every turn we never seem to get even let alone ahead.

Even though things are left for another day b/c of funding limitations.

Even though it is not clear how we will make it through tomorrow.

And

Even though the enemies camp looks closer and closer each day.

I WILL rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God MY Savior.

The sovereign Lord is my strength,he makes my feet like the feet of the deer, he enables me to go on the heights.

I WILL bless the Lord at ALL times, HIS Praise shall be on my lips.

Blessed are you when people insult you,persecute you, and falsly say all kinds of evil against you b/c of me. Rejoice and be glad, great is your reward in heaven.

Two quotes that make you think

"There is more Glory (for God) in resurrection than healing. " -Pastor McClendon

Is there something in your life that you have been praying for healing.. But it just needs to die so God can resurrect it?

"I am proud of you." - God

Do you realize that God is proud of you? What emotion does that stir in you?

i don't know about you.. But these both made ball like a baby. and still just writing them out. .OUCH. Sniff. tear.

Before the throne of God above

I have a strong and perfect plea.

A great high Priest whose Name is Love

Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on His hands,

My name is written on His heart.

I know that while in heaven He stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart.

(Isaiah 49:16, Psalm 42:8, Zephaniah 3:17, Hebrews 4:14)

Behold Him there the risen Lamb,

My perfect spotless righteousness,

The great unchangeable I am,

King of glory and of grace,

One in Himself I cannot die.

My soul is purchased by His blood,

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ my Savior and my God!

Jesus Revealed.

Grace and peace to you from him who is,

and who was, and who is to come,

and from the seven spirits before his throne,

and from Jesus Christ,

who is the faithful witness,

the firstborn from the dead,

and the ruler of the kings of the earth.
To him who loves us and has

freed us from our sins by his blood,

and has made us to be a kingdom and priests

to serve his God and Father—

to him be glory and power for ever and ever!

Amen.

Look, he is coming with the clouds,

and every eye will see him,

even those who pierced him;

and all the peoples of the earth

will mourn because of him.

So shall it be!

Amen.

"I AM the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God,

"who is, and who was , and who is to come, the Almighty"

I love this passage! Revelation 1:4-8

For You died and Your life is hidden with Christ.

YOU are God's chosen.

You are holy and loved, DEARLY.

You have been clothed with righteousness.

AND compassion, kindness, humility,gentleness, and patience.

But most of all love. Because you are a member of the body of Christ and this is what HE is.

You have been binded with Him in perfect unity.

We are here to edify and admonish one another with wisdom. And to sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with a thankful heart to God.

You were dead but now alive.

You were once lost but now found.

You were blind, deaf and mute. But now seeing, hearing and speaking the Truth.

Do not let the things of this world trouble and dishearten you.

Be at peace for the Prince of ALL peace is dwelling in you. And will forever more.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal."

(Colossians 3, Isaiah 26:3-4)

Go back to what you did in the beginning....

'If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that GOD our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.' James 1:26-27



My rantings about Christians will settle. As God keeps answering my prayer/ question about my holy discontent with them.


How about this one.....
2 Corinthians 11:3
But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ.


Don't forget your first love. How did you do things when were first redeemed?

I love that word.. Redeemed.

Phillippians 2: 1-11

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

Who, being in very nature God,

did not consider equality with

God something to be grasped,

but made himself nothing,

taking the very nature

of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

Pride

They say that emotions are colored.
Green….Envy
Red……Anger
White….Purity
Blue……Sad or Down

What color is Pride? OR is pride a scent? Like fear or joy.

Pride: An over high opinion of one self; haughtiness, arrogance; extreme value of one self.

Romans 12:3 say we should not think of ourselves as better than others. To be sober in our judgement of ourselves. Because our lives are to be living sacrifices…..And a sacrifice does not get to choose how they “GO”. What rights does a sacrifice have but to die?
If we are to be, being , and becoming like Christ, who considered Himself a servant, then why do we hold ourselves at such high regard. I am not saying we should crawl on our bellies like lowly snakes. But when did we start acting like we were better than everyone else? When did our self-addiction and gratification take over our desire to be servants of Christ? Sacrifice turn to Feast?

Yes I know we are priests.. not just priests but ‘high priests’. But where is that balance? He also thinks we are lovely and whirls in delight in us. And he thinks we are beautiful. He knows the hairs on our head and the number of our days. He has our name engraved on his hand and heart. And just like a parent.. there are things He expects HIS children to and not to do.....

I think the 'to's' out number 'not to's.' We just think negative first.

I know to deep for a Saturday morning.