Fear

I know fear is a tool the enemy uses against me. He knows my weaknesses. He knows what I am afraid. Sometimes he gets the best of me. He reads my face. Counts my tears and feeds off them.
Even though. Even though. I have a Savior. It gets the best of me.
Because I fear.
I have bad dreams.
I don't sleep well.
Even if I pray.
Even if I 'lay it down'
Deep deep down it still bothers me.
Maybe it is because I am the creature known as a woman.
Because I REALLY don't think it is lack of trust in God.
I know that I know He takes care of me. And I have nothing to fear.
And yet. I still have it.
It's like a Daddy coaxing his child as they learn to ride their bike.
Or a Mom showing a child how to roller skate.
The child KNOWS he will fall and yet afraid he goes out on the floor anyway.
Deep Breath.
I write in my Bible ALOT. I make notes, underline. Sometimes in color. Sometimes in pencil.
I usually get a new Bible when I can't read the word b/c of my markings.
And yet. I don't want a new one b/c my is nice and broke in. It opens right away to my favorite passages.
But there is a place in my Bible that only has a couple lines written. I will never write anything else on this page because it is my constant reminder.....
On the inside cover of my Bible I wrote....

"Stop Fearing-
There are good God things to come.
They are not surprises to God.
It is HIS plan NOT my plan"

there is no date. I don't remember who or what prompted this.
I do know. When I am afraid.. I read this. I had forgotten that last few days. And 'he' got the best of me. 'He' got me tired. 'He' got me in my sleep.
Like a thief. 'He' stole from me. And I pray I will not forget.

Fear not. The Lord is with me. No matter where I go. How long the road is or how high the mountain is. And Lord help me...How far I fall. How long I run.
I merely turn (repent) and HE, the GREAT I AM, Is there to catch me.
Hallelujah!